秀出真我

i'm doing a good job of keeping my blog well and alive. though there aren't as many readers anymore except the regular few, which is probably a good thing.

i really, really like doing crafts.

cos no matter, no matter what's happening in my life, i always make sure to channel all the good energy into my craft works and concentrate on them and only on them.

okay, this may sound freaky to you, like i'm some medium or one of those crystal ball ladies or something but no, that's not what i meant.

usually, i make crafts as presents for friends. so whenever, i make crafts, i make sure to have the receiver in my mind and put all my heart and soul into the work; love, peace, harmony, into the work. i always believe that 只要我用心地做，受到礼物的人一定能感受得到我的真心。thus, i can never, ever, bring myself to have any negative thoughts or feelings whenever i'm making something. even thoughts of tiredness and sleepiness i wouldn't allow them to even show a hint in my mind. yes i'll finish the presents even if they were to take me nights to finish.

"Art & Crafts are not supposed to bring me any sadness."

there have been quite a few times recently where this sentence has popped up in my mind.. due to some circumstances.. but still i try not to think about it and decided to just let it go and concentrate on what i'm supposed to do. cos thinking about it will just bring more sadness? and upon finishing the product i'll always feel that sense of euphoria and satisfaction. i guess you can say it's a form of acknowledgement for myself - something that i can never receive from the person i want to receive from..

(but you know, there are just some things that are not meant to be yours.. and there are just some things that can't be let go and denied of..)

oh by the way, i can safely declare that i'm a total perfectionist when it comes to my craft works. hmm.. like usually people will not bother about a minor detail, like a slightly crooked line or an uneven edge but for me it's like "NOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!! 不能容忍!!! REDO! FIX IT! AGAIN!" D:

yeah you get the point.

basically what i cannot accept as something for myself i wouldn't allow it to be given to others. that's my standard of doing things luh.

and.. i really envy admire the people who managed to find it in them to take that leap of faith - to have switched their careers totally and even given up a really really good salary just to pursue their dreams; to have created a new path for themselves out of nothing, and slowly lay the bricks down in front of them one by one as they proceed on..

will i be able to find it in me to take that leap of faith one day?

我也想要有{秀出真我}的一天。。

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