plus it's really a waste not to make friends in DE because a large portion of DE is made up of international students. talking to them helps you learn more about the other countries. like today i got to learn more about the education system in Indonesia through a newly made friend. i've also made a friend from China (she's my PoA tutorial groupmate) and also another one from Indonesia.

i reached school at 7.30am today (that's like 1 hour to start of lecture) because i woke up at 5.15am in the morning! like whatthehell right? i was like the first to reach the LT today luh!

proof shot:

a girl entered the LT shortly after me. and we started chatting a little and even worked out the math tutorial together. so that's another friend made. (:

it was pretty fun to reach school so early because you get to see some drama unfolding. haha! i love to people-watch during lecture breaks to check out some of the dramas here and there. it's like flipping from one channel to another channel! today i even interacted with one of the casts from 'Channel 8', a nickname that amanda has come up with to represent a drama that we have been keeping our eyes on. :D

it feels funny when i think about how right now, i prefer to be an observer rather than be the one in action. i'm no longer the rahh-rahh and enthusiastic person that i was in secondary school and when i was a j1. i'm still nice, and approachable nevertheless i guess, since there are people who asked me polite questions (the other party is always the first to do that), or to extend his/ her hand for a handshake. i think i'm considerably a shy person really. i don't really ask the other party a question unless i found it absolutely necessary in order to kill the awkwardness or when there's something i'm particularly curious about. i guess it's cos i'm still learning how to step out of my shell and open up a little more to strangers.

it was hard initially. after all, i've failed once, no, twice actually, so making new friends kinda scare me. i'm never one to forget the past. but at least now i'm learning how to put it aside. it makes things easier. with a new environment and new people, it's easier to breathe and smile. i feel like i can start again, and be myself again since no one knows of my miserable experience. everyday i'm laughing, be it due to the lecturer's funny jokes, or a hilarious sharing by a friend. school life feels like something i can get used to or better still, enjoy for now. (:

the me in the past used to be eager towards everything, only to find myself being disappointed in the end. the me now takes things one step at a time so that when things don't go so well, i don't get so upset anymore. the me in the past used to give out my all easily in terms of my feelings and actions but the me now tends to be more cautious and careful with who or what i am dealing with. it takes a lot more to earn my trust and for me to find that sense of security now but i guess that's what life is all about? you fail, you learn, and you try again. (:

a few tutors and in fact, most of the new friends that i've exchanged names with know me as Sue for now. i know the name sounds kinda weird, i find it weird too. but Susie seems too 'affectionate', and this is also the sole reason that my clique gives every time i ask them "why call me Susie???". but knowing the fickle-minded me, i was unable to settle on a name that i am at peace with and one that my friends could agree on. well true, like why do i even need to care what the others think but yes i do cannot is it? okay ps for the attitude there haha! anyway, both amanda and jiaqi (also known as tracy) agree that i should give myself an english name so i guess it's back to square one all over again (square one was a few months ago!). =/