it can creep up inside, it can consume you;

what happens if i were to die in the most unexpected way and earlier than anyone normal should?

what would i do then?

it's so frightening that im close to wishing that the world would end in 2012.

except, that would be too selfish and im not so selfish to do that.

there's this something i really wanna go for, and think that i NEED to go for, but

im scared.

i finally know how it feels like.

would i then be enlightened about the more important things in life?

if so, it won't be a bad thing would it?

except, it would be a sad thing.

how many would feel sad over it?

the curiosity is almost intensifying.

i would love to know, wouldn't i?

but would i really pay that up just to find out?

is it worth it?

and while my mind is still taking one step forward, and backward, and forward, and backward repeatedly about this,

today's horoscope caught my eye,

"Your biggest asset is your sense of humour so try to use it to cure your illness."

is this it then?

p/s: for those who are wondering why i haven't been updating, i have still been blogging actually. it's just that something will interrupt my mind every now and when im typing, and then i'll just lose the train of thought and don't know how to continue. or that i simply don't know how to end off the post or could not find the right words to explain my thoughts and feelings. i end up just saving the post as a draft instead and let it rot in my posting session forever and deny it of its chance to see the daylight.

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