nothing will change unless you want to

utterly disappointed with myself. so much i felt like crying.

the sense of failure overwhelmed me and i cried.

im so ashamed of myself i couldnt even lift up my head to look up at her, or anyone else for the matter.

it's the first time i had a desire this strong. i really want to improve. i dont want to be laughed at anymore.

i want to show them that I can do it too.

i dont want to stay like that forever. if i cant even accomplish something this simple, how am i going to achieve something that is much much bigger?

weeks of saying i want to stop procrastination and weeks of excuses and weeks of putting it off and now i really think it's time i should do something if i want things to change.

i will adapt. and i will change.

time waits for no one.

im this person who tries to look confident because i dont want people to realise that im not a confident person. im self-concious and i feel insecure all the time.

and i have the tendency to retreat.

on that note, i didnt become who i am today because i want to.

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