anxious much

i miss shooting! ):

it's been like WEEKS since i last met my husband! ahem by that i mean by beloved pistol. i mean if guys can treat their motorbikes or cars as wives, why cant i treat my pistol as my husband?

i believe in being good friends with my weapon. only then will my weapon help me do well in competitions. and okay you may find this weird but i do 'communicate' with my pistol, esp during competitions. not speak aloud but just thinking aloud in my mind you know? like telepathy that sort of thing?

dont say i nvr warn you, im a weirdo. (:

anyway, i have this feeling that im boring ppl with my blog posts, even i find that im boring myself out. just talking about my own stuff. but i really dont know what to write about.

anyway, i dont see anyone in my club (which includes me) is of national standards right now which is really upsetting. these few weeks we're just busy with shooting orientation and selection and after that the club will be busy with organising the invitational shoot, when are we going to finally properly train for the nationals???

more importantly, i dont want to be owned by the juniors!

a shooter worthy of the nationals, is someone who can shoot at least a 350 (for girls) and that means about alternate shots of 8 and 9. im only a 307 now. how pathetic.

im feeling so anxious. i want to push myself to a 320. i want to be a shooter qualified enough for the nationals. otherwise i'll die of embarrassment there. ):

and i got this feeling that coach isnt serious about our training at all. i mean he has vjc and cjc to do him proud. he doesnt need to depend on tpjc.

what the hell. ):

anyway, i have this big plan.

this UBER MAJOR plan.

this UBER MAJOR AWESOME SEVEN-MONTH PLAN.

AND IM GOING TO MAKE IT COME TRUE! :D

*big grins*

pinyi has already mark the day in his handphone's calendar just to mark my words when i told him about it. apparently he's quite skeptical but i'll prove myself!

YOSH! September 17! >:D

anyway, mrs goh finally called me today to ask me if i want to go back hai sing to help out with guides today and im suddenly unsure. prior to her call, last year, during the guides camp, i was really determined to go back and help out, seeing the state that hsc guides is currently in. i really want to go back but im beginning to doubt my capabilities. melissa wont be able to commit as much what with her part time work and starting poly life soon. and it's scary to think that i'll be doing this alone, trying to 'revamp' the whole guides company and everything. i dont think i have what it takes to do it well. the teachers are bound to have expectations. and i dont think i can meet them in such a short time. furthermore with only my efforts.

im scared.

im meeting her with melissa this friday in hai sing to discuss about the issue.

im scared~

currently talking to kathy mam on the phone but seems to be having no conclusion. ):

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