unpredictable,

i got my wish.

i wished i could be sick today cos i was too lazy to make my way down to a clinic (moreover a private one) yesterday since i left school early. left school early cos i couldnt stand being in school for another 2 hours for chem star and i wasnt aware that it's compulsory lesson at all. then came the call of mr yang advising me to go school to take pink form. and that means i'll need an mc too. and i so wanted to not care and sleep. huitze just heck. but..

im not the kind of person who just walks away. im the kind of person who thinks twice, thrice and on and on about the consequences if i don't do anything about it. you can say im a scaredy cat.

so i obediently went back to school and took the pink form.

even the OM found the whole situation amused.

but anyway, woke up this morning feeling unwell. i dont know what kind of unwell but i felt unwell. my head feels heavy and i just dont want to wake up. and it isnt bcos im tired. i had plenty of sleep having to sleep at 8pm that night. i felt my head hurt. but i cant remember if it was a headache. felt my bed very warm from my body heat. thought i was having fever but felt my forhead and it wasnt that hot. then i felt cold and snuggle under my blankets. smsed mr low to tell him i wasnt feeling well. and i fell asleep again.

woke up at around 10am and did cse cos i promised guanyan i would finish it. felt kinda light-headed. bejeweled didnt help.

went to polyclinic at 2pm and got some paracetamol and mc. but here's the problem.

i dont have an mc for yesterday afternoon. cos the polyclinic's system doesnt allow the doctor to do so.

and now i'll probably have to face discipline consequences. take away all my leadership positions if you want. im tired. take away cg rep, civics councillor and even shooting vp. take all of them away. i cared about the class but im tired of how not united the class is. and yes, my inability of making the class more bonded too. lots of people have been unhappy with my way of doing things anyway. i cared a lot about shooting club but i havent been very happy abt my position and the people there arent making my time pleasant too. if not for my passion for shooting, i wouldnt have bothered to attend shooting at all. im only worried about OGL for now.

i dont why i've become like this. i used to love taking up responsibilities. enjoying running things, organising things. always happy doing that. but now, i hesitate about volunteering my services, worried about what others thing of me, not confident about my capabilities (if i've any at all) and now,

not so much joy anymore.

i feel restricted.

with almost everything not going well in life, it isnt a surprise why anyone would've been suicidal.

went to ecareers.sg just now and decided to take the PGI and other assessments there again.


and as for the occupations that they have generated for me?

MATHEMATICS TEACHER.

joke of the day.

okay. so i've taught primary english and maths at SHG before but being a mathematics teacher when i dont even do well at being a mathematics student???

this is such an inaccurate one. i swear the one i took last year generated a way better list of jobs for me.

oh well. it's not the time to think about careers now.

frustrated. im off to liangying's house now.

◄ Older posts

Newer posts ►