.
am ii really fit..
date: Friday, May 05, 2006
todae ii was like so fed up for the whole dae.. espesially after recess.. ii got no idea why too.. after recess.. when doin crowd controlling in the hall.. trying to get them to settle down is already like so tiring le.. den there were these 2 troublesomes guys from 1e6.. refusing to sit down.. and even tried to run away.. trying to be funny.. ii was so angry dat ii made them stand on the stage lor.. ii noe some sec 1s hate mii.. kan wo bu shuang.. but ii dun care le.. i'm jus doin wat ii hav to do.. at first amelia asked mi to control the sec 2s.. first thing dat came to mii was fear.. ii can nvr control the sec 2s.. ii cant even control my own form class 2e2.. dat someth i've been telling clive and sze ern.. a good leader saes "ii can do it".. not "there's nth ii can do".. ii guess dis goes to show dat i'm not a good leader after all..
den after getting some of them to sit down le.. clive sae dat mr gng sae all go back to the classroom.. den evryone stood up and cheered.. the whole hall was chaotic lor.. plus staircase B.. it's so out of control.. prefects started patroling on level 3 and level 4.. level 4 was like so guai lor.. not many students or maybe none at all loitering outside lor.. unlike level 3.. 2e4, 2e5 students.. mostly loitering outside (no offence) ii was like so dun care lor.. what can ii do.. nth.. dat was why ii insisted so much on not doin level 3 patrol or staircase 6 for recess duty.. bcos ii realise dat u can nvr deal wiv ppl who r same level as u.. when ii was a sec 1 trainee.. booking sec 2s at staircase 6.. ii dun really mind cos ii realise they dun care and dun bully mii de.. now dat i'm a sec 2.. dis goes the same wiv upper secs.. ii still can deal wiv them.. and i've got control over the sec 1s.. but the sec 2s.. ii dunno.. ii just cant.. sze ern and clive.. they got the ability to control them.. not mii.. it can nvr be mii..
"When the sec 4 prefects walked over to some big groups who are standin.. not sittin down in morning assembly.. the groups will dispersed immediately when they saw the sec 4 prefects.. and do wat they are supposed to do.. so why cant the sec 2 n sec 3 prefects be like the sec 4 prefects too?"
"To other ppl.. prefects is a dirty job lahh.. it's veri hard to do a good job and also be popular.. with ppl accepting u.. and all dat.."
these two lines are just one of the many lines voiced out during the prefect meeting dis afternoon after sku.. true.. however.. not all things can go according to our wishes ii guess.. sure.. we can do our best.. but we can nvr get what we want.. dat's what i've always beliv.. even till now..
ii kept looking at maii prefect tie.. am ii fit to wear it? ii dunno.. dis is a qsn dat ii asked myself several times.. no answer thou.. ii dunno.. sometimes ii jus dun tink ii got the abilities.. not capable of it.. even thou words of encouragement have been said to mii.. and are still lingering in my mind.. amanda told mii dat i'm a good prefect.. ii dun tink so.. ii still dunno.. is there any prefect who has been always late like mii? dun tink so bahhs.. teresa was right to scold mii dat dae after all.. the other dae when ii was late for sku..
"u ask ur own conscience lahh.. are u suppose to stand at the flagpole there? u got the integrity anot? why ppl late need to stand there? den u no need? u prefect so? prefect got privilege arh? u prefect still late.. u ask urself lahh.."
perhaps i'm not fit.. or maybe not capable of it.. not enuf leadership qualities.. when ii always thot dat ii hav..
p/s: sorrie if dis post is too long.. ii jus wanna express some of maii feelings..
written by oniontheowl @
11:28 pm
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